Chapter 5: Lopsided Affinity

Just after all these complications, I wanted to tranquil myself. I for once sought to give my anxieties a gamble. I had a crush on this girl. Whenever I contemplated her, she held my gaze steadily, impassive. I used to have my heartbeat quickened, and my face flushed. Why does she had such an unnerving effect on me? Her overwhelming good-looks maybe? The way her eyes blazed at me? I was confounded and heated by her steady gaze.

No other girl had ever affected me the way she did, and I cannot fathom why. Was it her striking looks? Her meek nature maybe? I didn’t understand my irrational reaction. I valiantly attempted to calm down and gathered my thoughts but, it was too grim for me. Every single time I saw her, some involuntary shiver ran down my spine.

But I guess the odds weren’t in my favour, again. And all that time, I made my self believe that she didn’t know about this. But I guess I was wrong about it, about myself, and most probably about her. I somehow ended up disturbing her. She wasn’t comfortable with my responses. And she knew. She knew that I was interested in her but still she didn’t even bother. She ignored. Once, again and again. I fell. I fell for her that I can’t even explain why I was attracted towards her. I just can’t explain the force which heaved me towards her. I just can’t. I mean, it was something; intense.

I so badly wanted to talk to her but I guess I didn’t have the guts to go to her and tell her that I was interested. Though, I sent her a friend request on some kind of social media or shall I say Facebook. I, once again let myself believe that there was still some chance of making her talk to me. But I guess there weren’t, even though I for a one single whole day made myself believe that she haven’t seen my request but once again and for all I was wrong. She knew. She knew all the time, moreover she saw, she felt and she ignored. I only had one option. To back off. That’s what I did. I remember it was my farewell and I decided to give her a farewell too. So I decided and made myself crystal clear that she weren’t interested in me and she didn’t even want me. Perhaps I should let her go. But I wish I was in the right place in the right time.

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