Chapter 5: Lopsided Affinity

Just after all these complications, I wanted to tranquil myself. I for once sought to give my anxieties a gamble. I had a crush on this girl. Whenever I contemplated her, she held my gaze steadily, impassive. I used to have my heartbeat quickened, and my face flushed. Why does she had such an unnerving effect on me? Her overwhelming good-looks maybe? The way her eyes blazed at me? I was confounded and heated by her steady gaze.

No other girl had ever affected me the way she did, and I cannot fathom why. Was it her striking looks? Her meek nature maybe? I didn’t understand my irrational reaction. I valiantly attempted to calm down and gathered my thoughts but, it was too grim for me. Every single time I saw her, some involuntary shiver ran down my spine.

But I guess the odds weren’t in my favour, again. And all that time, I made my self believe that she didn’t know about this. But I guess I was wrong about it, about myself, and most probably about her. I somehow ended up disturbing her. She wasn’t comfortable with my responses. And she knew. She knew that I was interested in her but still she didn’t even bother. She ignored. Once, again and again. I fell. I fell for her that I can’t even explain why I was attracted towards her. I just can’t explain the force which heaved me towards her. I just can’t. I mean, it was something; intense.

I so badly wanted to talk to her but I guess I didn’t have the guts to go to her and tell her that I was interested. Though, I sent her a friend request on some kind of social media or shall I say Facebook. I, once again let myself believe that there was still some chance of making her talk to me. But I guess there weren’t, even though I for a one single whole day made myself believe that she haven’t seen my request but once again and for all I was wrong. She knew. She knew all the time, moreover she saw, she felt and she ignored. I only had one option. To back off. That’s what I did. I remember it was my farewell and I decided to give her a farewell too. So I decided and made myself crystal clear that she weren’t interested in me and she didn’t even want me. Perhaps I should let her go. But I wish I was in the right place in the right time.

Chapter 4: The Quintessential Part

Look after my heart – I’ve left it with you. Everyone once in a life time yearns for being treated like the most important living being. I still recall each and every single detail. It’s like everything is in front of me. I would label these ticks as the utmost exquisite instants of my life. And this chapter is going to be the inmost and the eloquent one.

Then this girl happened or shall I say “the one”. For whom I almost left everyone. Together, we initiated a chitchat. Well, let me tell you one thing I essentially liked the other one, but unfortunately or shall I say fortunately I ended up, adoring her. I don’t know what it was and I just can’t express that irresistible force or fascination which heaved me towards her. And finally, I was ready to willingly accept all the responsibilities and duties that accompanied loving her.

Academy was all that made it happen. It all started with a poke on Facebook. With limited chitchats, it all altered into unending conversations.

We fell. We fell, so deep in love that, both of our lives were twisted into a single strand. Cut one, and you cut both. If she were gone, I wouldn’t be able to live through that. If I were gone, she wouldn’t live through it, either. That friendship turned into adoration.

I was so proud to call her “My Girl” in open. She became the apple of my eye, the sun to my morning and the moon to my night. The very instant I first touched her, I felt butterflies drifting through my body. I felt my heart beating, like a lightning bolt. As our fingers touched, I felt an odd exhilarating shiver ran through me. I blinked rapidly, my eyelids matched my heart rate. We began to converge. I started trusting her instinctively and I can say this with pride that she didn’t break it either.

Beside some ups and downs. She always came back. She always became the most quintessential part of my life. I always highlighted her throughout my utmost imperative junctures. No matter what came. I kept on hauling myself into her. I was falling,  irrevocably and irretrievably in love with her. Perhaps she was also in the same state. Every time I saw her I was momentarily paralysed.

We both always knew from the start, that it was going to be very tough; finding ourselves waking up next to each other in the future. But still we had a hope. And we never lost it, till the day came when her parents decided to marry her.

She was all in tears. But still, we both stood by side for each other. I told my parents about her. And somehow managed to mollify them. I was happy and much excited. I told her that my parents are ready. She also somehow told her mother about me and all the stuff. But, I guess the odds weren’t in our favour. Her mother declined. She didn’t want to talk to any single member of my family just because of some imprudent caste issue.

I was always conscientious about her. I would have given up anything just to make her mine. And trust me. I actually did. But we both were destined somewhere else. Or at least this is what, that makes me accept as true, that I will be better without her. I always wanted her to wake up next to me. I always wanted her to kiss me goodnight, to kiss me good morning. But the chances weren’t in our favour. I would have loved, to make her a part of my family. But I guess. Something else was destined. I can remember myself imagining her in almost every single instant of my life. I adored her. I preserved her like a princess. I always tried to never let her feel that she is alone or that she is missing something.

It’s amazing how the unexpected can take your life and change direction. I from my side gave her to my fullest. And then I lost my despond. Because she didn’t have the guts to take a stand for me, to stand for herself or to stand against her father. I could’ve reached out to her, told her everything was going to be okay, but I didn’t and she didn’t either, instead we laid inches away from each other with miles between us.

Chapter 3: Skepticism

I tried to be diplomatic, but mostly I just lied a lot. I was much spoiled already so I decided to do something about it. I asked my friend to hook me up with some girl. He somehow, struggled and managed to set his girl’s; friend up with me. He asked her if she wishes to talk to me. Well, I would ponder this fluke by chance, she agreed. And then he told me that she wants to talk to me and she’s asking for my number. Why would I even deny her? I repeatedly texted him my number and asked him to forward it to her.

The sun was up and I was more awake than I have ever been in a long time and for once I was going to do something about it.  I woke up with a text; “hey”. I restlessly retorted back. And this is how we initiated chatter. I have had scarcely observed her in the academy, formerly all of this.

We began to sit next to each other. We’ve had our fun. She started having feelings for me. But, I guess at that time I wasn’t even sure about what I actually sought from her. Well, somehow we continued our chats. She was all head over heels into me. She wanted me to have her talk to my sister but I guess I wasn’t ready for that, so I kept on stalling her.

I, by some means managed the situation. Every single time I bled, she plainly blubbered. Well, that was warming. She was friend with two of my friend’s aficionados. I still remember that one time when, all six of us assembled next to each other, that was some hell of a diurnal. We use to have late night banters. The time passed and I started talking to another girl, even I was kind of in a relationship with the previous one. She came to know about all of this and she left me, though I wasn’t much serious about her but still that miffed.